To-do’s After the I Do’s

Your wedding was beautiful and went off without a hitch, the honeymoon was fabulous. Married life has started off just as you imagined it. Now what? It’s time to take care of the thank you notes for all those wonderful wedding gifts.

What? I have a year to do that. No, you don’t. According to Emily Post, all thank you notes should be written within three months of receipt of the gift. There’s no time like the present, and the sooner you get them written, the sooner you can move on. If you’re not one to sit down and do it all at once, then plan on writing a couple each day over your morning coffee.

Do I have to write them myself, or do my new spouse and I both have to write on every card? No one expects that you’ll both write a note on every card, nor that it’s up to the bride to do all the thank yous. In this day and age, both the bride and the groom should take half of the thank you writing duties. If your groom’s not up for that, you probably knew that before you married him, huh? Don’t try to change him now. (And btw, that’s good advice for the rest of your married life. Hopefully someone told you that before the wedding.)

Should we thank anyone who didn’t give us a literal gift? Cash, checks, gift cards, donations, they’re all considered to be gifts, even if you didn’t unwrap a box to get to them. Your bridal party, reception hosts, people who took in visiting friends and relatives so they didn’t have to spring for a hotel, any vendors who seemed to go the extra mile for you, and your parents all deserve to be thanked. Not just in person, but with a personal, handwritten note. Emails and texts aren’t personal enough.

What do I write in my wedding thank you cards? It doesn’t have to be long, but keep it personal and be enthusiastic without making it sound insincere. If you’re the kind of person who would gush about it in person, it’s probably OK to gush in your thank you note. If you know how you want to use the gift, let them know. If it was a gift of money, don’t mention the specific amount. Whatever you do, don’t pre-print a generic thank you and just sign your names.

Is it OK to send email thank yous? A personal, handwritten note is the way to go. Address the envelope to the person/people who attended your wedding and/or signed the card. For fun, add a specialty stamp or custom postmark.

Some think of writing wedding thank you cards as a chore, but I thought it was fun to write to all of our closest friends and family members. As I wrote each note, I remembered something about that person and something they said or did on our special day. I felt loved, knowing they thought of us and wished us well. Keep a positive attitude and have fun telling these people thanks!

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